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Congratulations on your decision
to get married!
The vocation of marriage is a great adventure,
through which you will establish a new family,
grow in love with each other, and encounter
Christ.
The best way to get your marriage off on
the right foot is to be an open and active
participant in your marriage preparation
process. During the course of the marriage
preparation process, you will receive:
- The Good News of God's love, to help you
live your vocation of marriage.
- Some basic principles of Catholic
beliefs about marriage and family life.
- Advice and practical assistance for your
daily lives together.
- The witness of married couples about how
the sacrament of marriage is lived in their
lives.
 We offer engaged couples a variety of programs
to help you learn how to better live God’s plan
for your marriage. This website will guide you
through the marriage preparation process, and
help you lay a firm foundation for your married
life.
Please be assured of our prayers for your
happiness. We ask God for his blessing upon you,
that you may truly be partners in life and love.
To get started on the marriage preparation
process, check out
What do we have to do?
If you have any questions about the marriage
preparation process, check out the
Frequently
Asked Questions about Marriage Preparation or
email us at
christopher.mueller@archny.org.
Please be assured of our prayers for your
happiness in married life. We ask God for his
blessing upon you, that you may truly be
partners in life and love.
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What do we have to do?
Here is an outline of the steps you will
take in preparing for your marriage. We've also
included a
checklist to help you through the
process.
1. Start by meeting with the priest or deacon who will be
witnessing your marriage.
- As soon as you get engaged, you should meet
with the priest or deacon who will be witnessing
your marriage. Usually this is a priest/deacon
at the parish in which one of you lives.
- The priest/deacon will be able to give
you an idea of the marriage preparation
process in general, as well as any specific
requirements they may have. For example,
some parishes require that couples attend
particular marriage preparation programs,
some require that couples take a class in
Natural Family Planning, and others require
couples to take a pre-marital inventory
(such as the FOCCUS instrument -- for
information about FOCCUS, check out our
Frequently
Asked Questions page).
- You will be able to discuss any
particular or special concerns that you may
have, or that may be necessary to deal with
before your wedding. For example, there may
be a question of a prior marriage, a
difference in religious faith (e.g., a
Catholic marrying a Christian or a Catholic
marrying a non-Christian), one of you may be
from outside of the Archdiocese, or other
issues.
- Your priest/deacon will be able to
advise you of the documents you will need.
For example, if you are not marrying in your
home parish, you will need to get a
certificate of baptism that is dated within
six months of your wedding.
- You will have a chance to discuss the
different marriage preparation programs that
are available to you, and get a sense of
which one is best suited to your needs and
interests. The priest/deacon will give you a
schedule book, which lists all the marriage
preparation programs, and a registration
form. The schedule of marriage preparation
programs can also be found on this website.
- You will be able to set a date for your
wedding that is mutually convenient. Please
don’t make firm commitments to catering
halls, etc., before setting a date with the
priest/deacon who will be witnessing your
marriage -- otherwise, you may find out that
the church or the priest/deacon is not
available that day, and you’ll have to
scramble for new arrangements for your
reception.
- It’s important to have this meeting
far in advance of your wedding, in order to
have enough time to deal with any particular
concerns, obtain the necessary documents,
and attend the marriage preparation program
of your choice.
2. Attend a
marriage preparation program.
- You are required to attend a
marriage
preparation workshop (often called “Pre-Cana").
- You’ll receive a certificate of
completion at the end of your class. You
will have to give this certificate to your
priest/deacon.
- We also strongly urge you to attend a class in
Natural Family
Planning.
- You should register for your marriage
preparation classes as soon as possible, and
attend classes six months to a year before
your wedding. This way, you will avoid the
hectic time right before your wedding, and
you’ll get more out of the classes.
3. Follow-up
meetings with your priest or deacon.
- Once you’ve attended the marriage
preparation program, you should have further
meetings with the priest/deacon who will be
witnessing your marriage.
- These meetings may involve planning your
wedding liturgy, reviewing your experience
at the marriage preparation program or the
results of your FOCCUS instrument, and
addressing any particular needs you may
have.
- The priest/deacon will also do a
“Pre-Marital Interview” (also called the "PMI")
to make sure that all the Canon Law
requirements for marriage have been
satisfied.
If you have any questions about this process,
please check out the
Frequently Asked Questions.
If that doesn't answer your question, please
don't hesitate to call us at 212-371-1000,
extension 3185, or email us at
christopher.mueller@archny.org
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 What programs are available?
We offer several programs to help you lay a
good foundation for your married life. You are
required to attend a Marriage Preparation
Workshop. We also strongly urge you to attend a Natural Family Planning class.
1.
Marriage
Preparation Workshop ("Pre-Cana")
These workshops (often called "Pre-Cana") are
offered by the Family Life Office and are held
throughout the Archdiocese. The fee is $195 per
couple. We recommend scheduling a workshop at
least six months prior to your wedding date.
- Two Days
— This program requires
attendance at two day-long workshops. The
two different days cover two different sets
of topics.
· Part 1,
the Relationship Skills Workshop,
offers practical advice and assistance to
the engaged couple to help them build a
successful marriage. Topics covered include
self-awareness, communication, conflict
resolution, commitment, and decision-making.
· Part 2,
entitled God’s Plan for a Joy-Filled
Marriage, is designed to help today’s
couples understand and embrace a Catholic
vision of married love. It seeks to
demonstrate, in a non-judgmental manner, the
“whys” behind the “whats” of Catholic
teaching. This workshop will help couples
see the beauty of God’s plan for marriage
and the joys of living it.
· Couples must
select a Part 1 AND a Part 2 workshop,
to be taken in any order (that
is, Part 1 or Part 2 can be taken first) and
at any locations they wish. Classes are held on Saturday or Sunday, from 9:30
a.m. to 4:30 p.m. Click
here for the
schedule, listed by county.
- Four
Evenings
— This program covers the same
topics as the Two Days, but instead of
taking place over two days, it is spread
across four evenings. Click
here for the
schedule, listed by county.
- Two-Session
— There is one Two-Session class
this year, at St. John's Church in Orange
county. Click
here for the schedule.
- In-Home
— These classes are available in
Dutchess County only, and on
a limited basis. The sessions are limited to
one couple and meet four evenings. For
more information about this program only,
please call Edward and Valerie Towlsey,
(845) 896-7540.
- Special Class for Couples in their 30’s
and 40’s — Designed specifically for older
couples. There is one class scheduled this
year, which will be held at Our Lady of the
Assumption Church in the Bronx. Click
here
for the schedule
You may also choose to attend one of these
programs instead:
- Engaged
Encounter Weekend
— Click
here
to go to their website for more
information and the schedule. The cost is
$320 per couple.
- Three to Get Married
weekend program
— Click
here for more
information and the schedule. The cost is
$275 per couple.
2. Natural Family
Planning
We strongly urge you to attend a class on
Natural Family Planning, which is a beautiful
and effective way to plan our families in
keeping with God’s desires for us. See
here for
more information and the schedule. An NFP class
should be started at least six months before
your wedding.
Note: All of these programs are available in
Spanish. See here for information and the
schedule.
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How do we register for the classes?
We urge you to attend a marriage preparation
program six months to a year before your
wedding. We will not register you for a session
that is less than six weeks before your wedding
date.
Please do not register for a program before
your first meeting with your priest or deacon,
because they can provide you with guidance about
the programs and the process.
When you have your initial meeting with the
priest or deacon who will witness your marriage,
you should get a registration form and schedule
booklet. You can use that book and form to
register, or you can do it online.
You can also check the schedule listed here
to see if a particular session is still
available (please be advised, however, that the
session may be filled by the time your
registration is processed). There are
limited openings for some sessions, and they are
filled on a first-come, first-served basis, with
preference given to couples being married in the
Archdiocese.
Here's how to
register for a Family Life Office Program:
To register for
an Engaged Encounter Weekend:
You can use the registration form in the
schedule book you received from your priest or
deacon, or you can go to the
Engaged Encounter website and
follow the instructions there.
To register for
the Three to Get Married program:
You can use the registration form in the
schedule book you received from your priest or
deacon, or you can click
here
for instructions and a registration form.
To register for
Pre-Cana at Our Saviour:
please call (646) 797-3221, or email
peter@catholicculture.com for more
information, and someone will get back to you
promptly.
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Marriage Preparation Checklist
We have prepared a checklist that will help
you keep track of the meetings, classes, and
documents you'll need during your marriage
preparation process. You can click
here to download the
checklist.
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Additional
Resources
There are many free resources online you may
want to consult as you prepare for married life
together. Here are some good ones:
-
Evaluate Your Engagement, a
series of tips and questionnaires from
The
Institute for Marital Healing, a
Catholic counseling center founded by Dr.
Richard Fitzgibbons and based in
Philadelphia. Very thorough and
informative. You may want to explore
the rest of the site as well.
-
For
Your Marriage.org, a fresh
and action-packed website full of articles,
anectodes, and statistics about marriage.
There's a great section called
Preparing For Your Marriage, which
includes a lot of thought-provoking
material. Well worth checking out.
-
Two Churches, One Marriage, a free
and very useful online program for two
people of differing faiths who have decided
to marry. Leads the couple through
many important areas of potential
disagreement and gives strategies for
working through them.
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212.371.1011 x3185
